Gotcha details...

I thought that maybe since we had already been through one Gotcha Day I wouldn’t feel so nervous this time. I was wrong. It was that same exact feeling in my chest and stomach when I woke up Monday morning… like I could laugh, cry or puke, but mostly just crazy excited. We had several things to do that morning, so it helped the time pass by quickly. Before we knew it, it was 2:00 and time to head to the civil affairs office to meet Eva. We loaded in a van with the two other families… who were all feeling the exact same way. On the way there, we were talking about our girls and we figured out that all three of them were within 5 weeks of each other age wise. One of them is from the same orphanage as Eva, and our guide said they were crib buddies (which meant they were in the  same room in Maoming). About 20 minutes later, we arrived at the civil affairs building and headed in.

Last family pic before Eva

Gotcha Day was amazing! Since our travel group is just us and 2 other families, it felt way different than last time. The civil affairs building was not very busy, so everything seemed really calm and laid back. We checked over some paperwork and sat down to wait until it was time to meet Eva. Within about 1 minute, the first baby came out before anyone expected. By the time we stood up, they were bringing Eva out. I recognized the nanny who was holding her, and she recognized Ayla immediately! She was so excited to see Ayla that she headed straight towards her and forgot to hand Eva to me. I finally just took Eva from her so she could talk to Ayla. I LOVE that they are from the same place, and that moment made me so grateful for the love and care they received as babies. 

Gotcha!!!!

As soon as I held Eva, the first thing I noticed is how light she is. She was dressed in this puffy one piece sweatsuit monstrosity, and it felt like that’s all I was holding. She did really well. She didn’t cry when I took her, and within a few minutes we saw some smiles and heard some giggles… tiny little giggles. The nannies gave us all the things we had sent in the care package, and she immediately grabbed her little photo album. It looks like she played with it a lot… and chewed on it! We heard some little baby babble that sounded like mama and baba (which means daddy). Her nanny must have looked through it with her a lot. One of the best parts of the day is that she let Steven hold her! She will go to either of us, and that is a huge answer to prayer. I think her seeing Ayla with Steven and the fact that she’s so young has helped a lot too!

We were able to ask the nannies some questions before we left. They told us Eva has bronchitis, and handed me five, FIVE medications that she’s on. They also mentioned she has a temper. We saw it for the first time when we tried to give her the medicine. She is NOT a fan! They also mentioned she has a poor appetite and likes to “skip” naps. Great. (I will say, that as I write this, she is napping in her crib. This was after she drank almost a full bottle and took her meds. I did get a little in my face when she spit it out).

Ayla has done great too! She is playing well with Eva, and Eva thinks she’s hilarious! It is so cute to watch them play together. Eva is feisty and will definitely be able to hold her own. She would act like she was handing her little photo album to Ayla, but would yank it back as soon as Ayla would reach for it. It became a little game and we heard some really cute laughs. Ayla suddenly seems SO big and grown up now. So far she is loving her new role as big sister.

Eva is not walking yet, but she can get around pretty fast. She has a funny little army crawl. She also like to roll over quickly multiple times. She stops whenever she runs into something.

It is still so surreal that she’s finally with us. When you’re in the process, it really feels like you’ll just do paperwork forever. The beautiful thing is that there is actually a child at the end of all that waiting and paperwork. We know people are praying for us, and we are so grateful! Please continue to pray as we walk through these next few days! God is good!

The head nanny at Maoming was so excited to see Ayla

So glad my mom, "Debe", is here with us! Three generations.
My mom, me and Eva all have the middle name Ann. 

Kisses from Daddy

Sisters...

Sweet smile... (not mine)

Daddy's first hold

A good look at her huge outfit.

Hailston girls!

First family pic. Ayla was really excited, but I love her expression in this! 

Maoming staff and our sweet guide, Aron (right)

And just like that, we walked out... with 3 more than when we walked in!

Checking it all out

Precious girl!

It's Eva Day!

It is so hard to believe this day is finally here! We are now just counting down by hours, rather than months or days. I went to bed early and have been waking up off an on since about 2:30, and I just can’t sleep anymore. The last blog I wrote was from China, right before we came home with Ayla. That was just under 2 years ago, but I can remember it like it was yesterday. There have been SO many blogs in my head since then that have never made it in writing… funny moments, sweet moments, and lots of stories of God’s faithfulness.

I know those close to us have heard a lot of the stories throughout our process to Eva, but for her sake, I want to share them here so we can look back on them together when she’s older. We knew God calling us to adopt again about 8 months after we came home… November 2012. This was not our plan. On paper, it did not make sense for us to adopt. We couldn’t afford the first adoption and we had even less now. Some people are afraid to ask (and some aren’t, haha) if we struggle with infertility. The answer is we don’t know! We’ve never tried to get pregnant. After touring with the international children’s choir, we just really felt led to international adoption. After we brought Ayla home, we talked to several friends who were ahead of us and had adopted kids asking questions about their adoption… the tough questions about abandonment, and feeling unloved by their birth family. We know those moments lie ahead for us too, and we just thought it would be a beautiful thing for Ayla and Eva to have each other in those moments.

There were such amazing moments with Ayla’s adoption (you can look back at old blogs), that I was honestly a little nervous starting over. I wondered how it could possibly happen again the second time around. Not that we had to have fireworks… it ultimately comes down to God’s peace in our hearts, but I did want some stories to share with Eva. And God was gracious.

We wanted to settle on a name early on for Ayla’s sake. It’s hard enough talking about “a little sister in China”, much less one without a face or a name. So, we decided pretty quickly on Eva. I loved the meaning of it – “life-giving”. For a middle name we were torn. I loved Grace because her name would mean, “life giving grace,” but I also wanted to use Ann since it was my mom’s and my middle name. We had plenty of time to decide, so we just waited. Then one night I was awake in bed and decided to look up the meaning for Ann. And guess what? It means grace! So there we go… we are using Ann AND it means “life-giving grace.”

Little did I know when we used this name just how meaningful it would end up being. Back in August, my Big Daddy got really sick and we were told it wouldn’t bee long before he’d be with Jesus. Every time I saw him, he would ask, “Do we know who Eva is yet?” We had been told to expect a file around late September, so I didn’t think he would get to see who she was. I was shopping in Publix on August 29, when I saw I had missed a call from our social worker. When I called her back I was SHOCKED to hear that she had a file for us… for a little girl who wasn’t even one yet! I waited for her to email over the file, and after I went up and down the same aisle at least five times, I went home so I could look through everything. It was her! (I hoped Steven would agree when he got home from work – haha). We turned in the paperwork the next morning, and I got pictures printed to take to Big Daddy. We have pictures of him with Ayla and a picture of Eva that I am so thankful for! That was August 30. Eva’s first birthday was September 3, and Big Daddy went home on September 5.

Our family has been in a season of sorrow. We have been grieving together over the loss of my cousin Drew last month. The losses are very real, but our hope is sure! It has been hard to have such conflicting emotions at the same time, but I praise God for the bright spot Eva will be in a dark time for our family… a little “life-giving grace.”

Adoption is such a beautiful picture of the gospel. About 4 hours away from me right now, is a little 16-month old girl who has no idea that everything about her little life is going to change today. She is waking up about now (6:30 is the time we were told she wakes up… hopefully that will be changing too!), and her sweet nanny is getting her ready for the last time. She’ll be taken on a longer drive than she’s ever been on and be placed in the arms of a complete stranger who looks, smells, and sounds completely different from what she has always known. Can you imagine how traumatic that will be for her? It is heartbreaking to think about. We, on the other hand, have been counting down to this exciting day. Longing for it. Because we do know what’s in store. We are gaining a daughter and she is gaining a family… not because she’s done anything or has anything to offer, but because she is chosen. God chose this precious little one to be ours and is placing her in our family. Adoption – not just the process of getting to our child, but living in the reality of it every day, has brought a much sweeter understanding to my own salvation. The gospel is the adoption story of God’s pursuit of us. We would never love God except that He first loved us and went through great costs to bring us into His family. Parenting makes me realize the need for God’s grace on a daily basis. How often do we try to get it all together and bring something to the table each day? Or, how often do we feel unworthy because we’ve fallen short again? That’s the whole point… we can’t get it all together and nothing we can do makes us worthy. That’s why we need Christ. I think over the time Ayla has been with me. We’ve had some rough days… I mean, she’s three and she’s a little sinner with an imperfect mom. But never once has she ceased being mine. Never once have I decided she’s no longer my daughter. My love for her is not dependent on her. And then I think about Christ’s love for me, and I realize that’s what draws me to love Him.

So here we are… it’s Gotcha Day, or Eva Day as my friend calls it. And today, January 6, is also special for another reason. I know I am a huge nerd for figuring this out, but this is really cool. We got Ayla on March 5, 2012. She was 22 months and 1 day old on her gotcha day. Today, we have had Ayla for 22 months and 2 days… so she has now been with us longer than she was without us. I just love how God gives us these little things! So our girls’ birthdays are on the 3rd and 4th of the month, and their Gotcha’s are on the 5th and 6th. Lord willing, Eva will be in our arms around 2:30 China time, which is 12:30 am CST. We cannot wait to become a family of four in just a few hours! Please be in prayer for this time… for Eva as she leaves all she knows, for Ayla who has to learn to share mommy and daddy, for the nanny saying goodbye, and for our family that we will know how to best love our little girl today. We know so many are praying and are confident those prayers are being answered. See you soon… with the pics you’ve been waiting for!

(I promise the rest of the blogs will have pics... lots of pics on fb too).

Gotcha Day details...

My heart is so full! As I write this, Ayla is still fast asleep. I can't imagine what a long, scary day it was for her, but she is a little trooper.

The tears were off and on all morning as we waited for 2:00 to come. There were 9 families in our group, and we boarded a bus to head to the Civil Affairs building. On the ride there, we received several instructions on what would happen when we got there. There would be paperwork to look over, as well as a document to show as they handed her to us (to make sure they were giving the right children to the right families). Once everyone's paperwork was checked, they said they would call families one by one...slowly, so the families would have plenty of time to take pictures of each other.

Not. the. case. It was crazy. We were all taking pictures as the first baby came out from behind a curtain that led to a playroom. I lost it! Then, baby 2 came quick, then 3...4...5...by this time we were all fumbling paperwork and cameras, realizing it was going to happen fast. And then, there she was. It was our moment. I reached to take her from the orphanage representative. She resisted a little, but then came to me without a whimper. Almost immediately, we were asked to move over so another family could meet their child (thanks for preparing me for that Heather!). I could tell she was scared to death, and I must have gone into protection mode. I just held her close and whispered to her. Some of the babies came out kicking and screaming, and I could have burst into tears at any moment. But because she was calm, I (tried) to stay calm so I wouldn't upset her.

We went over to a couch where all the other families were heading to dig into our diaper bags for any kind of treat that might make the kids feel more comfortable. The cheerios didn't get much of a response, so we quickly moved to sweettarts (we had been told the kids liked them). She ate a couple and then let me feed her some puffs. We looked at our toy camera (thanks Pops & DeBe), but couldn't hear the sounds it made over all the commotion in the room.

Steven went to get some questions we had prepared answered by the orphanage representative with our guide. So it was just the two of us (sort of...if you don't count the other 50 familes in the room). She just looked around, looked in the diaper bag, and let me hold her. We played with a little lovie, and she gave a few half-smiles. She would look up at me from time to time. There were several times when I thought she was about to sob, and I would think, "here we go". Her little lip would quiver, but it was like she was trying to hold it back. She never cried at the Civil Affairs building.

After all the families got their questions answered, it was time to go. We walked out of the building as a group...11 more than when we walked in (2 families in our group adopted 2 babies)! Praise the Lord for 11 less orphans in China! We got on the bus and headed to a shopping center to get the right formula, diapers, rice cereal, etc. Ayla was so tired. Her eyelids would drop, but she wouldn't let herself go to sleep. I'm sure she was scared of what might happen next if she dare sleep. She had a quick meltdown on the bus, but someone handed me a dum dum and that did the trick!

We got to the store and I put her in a carrier. After fighting sleep for a while longer, she finally dosed off. We were sweaty and exhausted, and ready to get back to the room. When we finally did, we tried to show her around, but she didn't respond much. Steven had to leave to go do more paperwork, so now it really was just us. It was tough. I set her down so she could walk around. She was scared, and nothing would soothe her. Our first communication was her shaking that precious little head telling me, "no." Again it looked like she was fighting back tears. "No." She didn't want puffs. "No," she didn't want to play with toys. "No, no, no." I just scooped her back up, crying for her. We paced around the room, and finally she saw something she wanted...a bath towel. I gave it to her (of course), and she laid her head on it. We didn't even attempt a bath, but I wiped her off a little as I changed her diaper and put pj's on her.

We were waiting for Lily (the amazing woman who does so much on behalf of adoptive families here in China) to come show me how to make her formula the way she was used to it. She came and made her a bottle. Bless her little heart...that's what she wanted! I held her while she guzzled it down. She didn't want me to hold the bottle (as we gain trust, this is something that will hopefully change), and even wiggled down to the floor to finish it off. When she was done, she handed the bottle to me. I reached for her...and she reached back. I melted. She perked up a little, and Steven came back. We had not had a chance to discuss the answers to all the questions we had asked earlier, but he told me that she is used to sleeping with a small bath towel.

Steven hadn't held her yet (this is very common). She would take puffs from him, but would give him the "evil eye" if he reached to hold her. We had seen that look in pictures before. Lifeline had prepared us very well on how a lot of the children are scared of men at first. He has been very patient and sweet with her. Hopefully, she will let him hold her soon. Some of the husbands went to get food to bring back for dinner, so Steven headed to Pizza Hut with them.

It was about 9:00, which is her normal bedtime. I laid with her on the bed and she started to drift off. I picked her up and laid her on me, and she fell asleep. I placed her in her crib, and covered her with the towel. I. was. starving...and exhausted. I got ready for bed, and Steven came back shortly after that. I had some pizza, and was planning on getting some things ready for today. But, unsure of what the night would hold, I went to bed too.

I have been up since 5:00, and she is still fast asleep. She stirred a couple times, but I just rubbed her back and she fell right back to sleep. Her normal wake-up time is 6:30. It's 6:45 now, so I'm expecting her to wake up any minute. Lots of pics were posted on fb, so rather than taking time to upload them, I am gonna go get ready for our first full day together! On the next post, I will do my best to post lots of pics!

We are so so blessed and thankful to finally have our daughter in our arms. Please continue to lift us up in prayer...that Ayla would begin to trust us and bond with us as her mommy and daddy. She had a long day yesterday, and we know there will be grieving over the next several days, so there will be some tough moments. We are confident that God will give us the strength and grace to make it.

We are in love!