We made it to Hong Kong and are about to head to bed. Please keep us in your prayers as we start the long journey back to sweet home Alabama! Ayla does not like for me to sit down and is typically clingy, so we are a little concerned about 15 hours on a plane. The good news is we only have one layover in Detroit. Once we clear immigration there, Ayla will instantly become a U.S. citizen!!
We are so so excited to see everyone and welcome Ayla home! We would love to have anyone who wants to greet us at the airport to be there. Consider this your personal invitation! We are scheduled to arrive in Birmingham at 4:30 on Delta flight 5086 from Detroit.
There are just a couple requests... please meet us downstairs at the bottom of the escalators by baggage claim. We are going to have just a couple minutes with family up top before we head down so Ayla can meet her Pops & DeBe, aunt, uncles and cousin Kali. All our flights have been a little early so far (knock on wood), so we may very well be downstairs at 4:30.
Second, since we are still going through the bonding/attachment phase, please don't reach out to hold Ayla. You are welcome to talk to her or rub her arm, etc. You can imagine the confusion she will have. Just a week and a half ago she was taken from the only place and people she knew. Then, just as she started coming out of her shell and felt like the hotel room was our home, we move her again. Because of this, once we get home from the airport, we will be spending a lot of time at home as a family to help her become secure with all the new changes. So, the airport is a great place to meet her before we hunker (sidenote: I don't like the word "hunker", but I can't think of another word...it's late) down at home.
Ok, now I have a request for you all. This blog is really for Ayla to be able to look back on to see how God brought our family together. I would love for her to have notes from any of you who have followed our journey and prayed for us. We have had so much encouragement and have truly felt that we have been surrounded in prayer throughout this process. So, while you're waiting for us to get home, please leave notes for Ayla in the comments section of this post (not on facebook).
Ok, we look forward to seeing you all soon and hope some of you can make it to the airport!!
With love from China,
Tiffany, Steven & Ayla
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
out of the ashes...
I started this blog Saturday...the ONLY day Ayla slept in her crib for a nap. She woke up before I was able to finish, so by "yesterday," I mean Friday. :)
Yesterday was a long, exhausting, but amazing day! We, along with 5 other families, met at 6:30am to begin the 4 hour drive to visit the orphanage in Maoming, where our children had lived until just 4 days ago. There was some apprehension about the day, because we didn't know how the little ones would react to being back there and seeing the nannies who had loved and cared for them. It was a long, bumpy ride, but we finally pulled up to a gate, and walked into the place we had only seen in pictures.
As soon as we pulled in, there were nannies there with umbrellas to lead us up to the third floor where the children lived. We walked into their little playroom, and shortly after, a little line of children filed in and started playing. We had been told several times that Ayla loved to ride "the trojan," which is a little blue plastic rocking horse. She pretty much shut down when we walked in, and started looking all over the place. It was very similar to the way she responded on "Gotcha Day." A few of the kids were playing, so we walked over to the rocking horse. I started to put her down to see if she wanted to ride, but she clung to me and didn't let me put her down. I was TOTALLY fine with that!
There were a couple nannies who came up to her and rubbed on her face and talked to her. She looked at them a little and then turned her head away when they put their arms out to hold her. There has been one nanny who we've seen in lots of pictures with her, who she was very attached to. That nanny was not in the room. I wondered how she would respond to her. I knew it might be hard, but I really wanted to meet her and thank her for loving our daughter and preparing her for a family. I kept looking around for her, but didn't see her anywhere.
They had also prepared lunch for the kids so we could see what they were used to eating and how they were fed. I thought we had been feeding her a lot, but it turns out we've been holding out on her! They eat a big bowl of rice, beef & chicken, something green and leafy, and then something soupy in it. The nannies fed them with a regular spoon and big bites! Ayla took a few bites and then shook her head "no."
As I sat on the floor holding Ayla, I just looked around...at the parents holding former orphans in the very room where these kids had spent countless hours, children still waiting for families, some adopted kids crying for their nanny...and was completely overwhelmed. It was so hard to imagine that this was all Ayla had known up until a few days ago. Any tears that didn't fall on Gotcha Day were falling now.
We didn't spend a whole lot of time in the room. There was a quick trip to the next room over, which was the crib room. Actually, we just looked through the window because the beds were full of sleeping babies. One of the nannies pointed out which bed was Ayla's...it already had a new owner.
It was almost time to say goodbye, and up walks Ayla's nanny...the one I had been hoping to see. She came up and reached for Ayla, but she just turned her head away. I was overcome. The nanny was so sweet with her and just talked to her and smiled at me, although I have no idea what she was saying. Through our guide, we were finally able to thank her for taking care of Ayla and preparing her for our family. After a few minutes, it was time to leave. The orphanage director, the nanny, and one other nanny who worked with Ayla came to tell her goodbye one more time. I was about to have Steven get a picture of us with all 3 ladies, but 2 of them started crying and turned away. More tears. We are so blessed that our daughter was loved enough that there were people sad to see her go. She was loved, and even though she will not remember her time in the orphanage, I know these special women have made a lasting impact on Ayla's ability to attach and love.
On our way back to the bus, we were taken through the back orphanage gate to Ayla's finding spot. It was nothing more than a dirty alley. We were told that babies are left there at night so whoever leaves them doesn't get caught (it is illegal to abandon a baby in China). It was hard to imagine that Ayla had been left there. She was found in a paper box, wearing flower clothing, with a birthnote that said her birthday was May 4, 2010. She was found on May 24...less than 3 weeks old. We also found out that she was a premie, with a low birthweight. A tiny new baby, abandoned and all alone. The fact that she was left at the orphanage where someone would find her does say something about her birthmother. Someone risked getting caught to make sure she was found. We definitely don't plan on telling Ayla some fairytale story about why her mother had to give her up, because the truth is we don't know. However, I am thankful that her birthmother chose to give her life in a culture where abortion is common. I am also thankful that she was most likely cared for by her birthmother for her first 3 weeks, and then left with a note in what was probably the safest place they could find.
We made a few more stops to the finding spots of the other children in our group, had lunch, and then started the long drive back to Guangzhou. That night at the hotel, Ayla began coming out of her shell. She let me put her down and she played and ran around the room. We heard some great laughs as we chased her around!! Later that night though, we also saw a more of the other end of the spectrum. She had a screaming, crying, back arching fit, and was inconsolable for 20-30 minutes before she wore herself out and went to sleep. Bedtime and naptime have been a struggle ever since (hence the lack of blogposts). On one hand, it is good that she feels comfortable enough to finally grieve. On the other hand, it is exhausting, and has been the hardest part of the journey. We are praying this phase gets better and better...preferably quickly! Still, we wouldn't trade this journey for anything!
It's Tuesday night now, and Ayla's suitcase is packed to come home. Honestly, we have really enjoyed being here! The time has gone by really fast. While we are excited to get home, we are not super excited about the long plane rides coming up. We just purchased a lap ticket for Ayla, rather than getting her a seat. That was probably best since shewill have a meltdown prefers for me to hold her. She also wants me to stand up when I hold her...yeah, it may be a long 24 hours! Please pray for all 3 of us...and the poor people whose seats are nearby!!
We cannot wait to get our sweet girl home! We would LOVE to see any of you at the airport Thursday who would like to come. I will give the details in a separate post, so stay tuned!
Just tried to upload pics twice and it won't work. :( Lots of pictures on facebook though! Heading to bed for the last time in Guangzhou...
Yesterday was a long, exhausting, but amazing day! We, along with 5 other families, met at 6:30am to begin the 4 hour drive to visit the orphanage in Maoming, where our children had lived until just 4 days ago. There was some apprehension about the day, because we didn't know how the little ones would react to being back there and seeing the nannies who had loved and cared for them. It was a long, bumpy ride, but we finally pulled up to a gate, and walked into the place we had only seen in pictures.
As soon as we pulled in, there were nannies there with umbrellas to lead us up to the third floor where the children lived. We walked into their little playroom, and shortly after, a little line of children filed in and started playing. We had been told several times that Ayla loved to ride "the trojan," which is a little blue plastic rocking horse. She pretty much shut down when we walked in, and started looking all over the place. It was very similar to the way she responded on "Gotcha Day." A few of the kids were playing, so we walked over to the rocking horse. I started to put her down to see if she wanted to ride, but she clung to me and didn't let me put her down. I was TOTALLY fine with that!
There were a couple nannies who came up to her and rubbed on her face and talked to her. She looked at them a little and then turned her head away when they put their arms out to hold her. There has been one nanny who we've seen in lots of pictures with her, who she was very attached to. That nanny was not in the room. I wondered how she would respond to her. I knew it might be hard, but I really wanted to meet her and thank her for loving our daughter and preparing her for a family. I kept looking around for her, but didn't see her anywhere.
They had also prepared lunch for the kids so we could see what they were used to eating and how they were fed. I thought we had been feeding her a lot, but it turns out we've been holding out on her! They eat a big bowl of rice, beef & chicken, something green and leafy, and then something soupy in it. The nannies fed them with a regular spoon and big bites! Ayla took a few bites and then shook her head "no."
As I sat on the floor holding Ayla, I just looked around...at the parents holding former orphans in the very room where these kids had spent countless hours, children still waiting for families, some adopted kids crying for their nanny...and was completely overwhelmed. It was so hard to imagine that this was all Ayla had known up until a few days ago. Any tears that didn't fall on Gotcha Day were falling now.
We didn't spend a whole lot of time in the room. There was a quick trip to the next room over, which was the crib room. Actually, we just looked through the window because the beds were full of sleeping babies. One of the nannies pointed out which bed was Ayla's...it already had a new owner.
It was almost time to say goodbye, and up walks Ayla's nanny...the one I had been hoping to see. She came up and reached for Ayla, but she just turned her head away. I was overcome. The nanny was so sweet with her and just talked to her and smiled at me, although I have no idea what she was saying. Through our guide, we were finally able to thank her for taking care of Ayla and preparing her for our family. After a few minutes, it was time to leave. The orphanage director, the nanny, and one other nanny who worked with Ayla came to tell her goodbye one more time. I was about to have Steven get a picture of us with all 3 ladies, but 2 of them started crying and turned away. More tears. We are so blessed that our daughter was loved enough that there were people sad to see her go. She was loved, and even though she will not remember her time in the orphanage, I know these special women have made a lasting impact on Ayla's ability to attach and love.
On our way back to the bus, we were taken through the back orphanage gate to Ayla's finding spot. It was nothing more than a dirty alley. We were told that babies are left there at night so whoever leaves them doesn't get caught (it is illegal to abandon a baby in China). It was hard to imagine that Ayla had been left there. She was found in a paper box, wearing flower clothing, with a birthnote that said her birthday was May 4, 2010. She was found on May 24...less than 3 weeks old. We also found out that she was a premie, with a low birthweight. A tiny new baby, abandoned and all alone. The fact that she was left at the orphanage where someone would find her does say something about her birthmother. Someone risked getting caught to make sure she was found. We definitely don't plan on telling Ayla some fairytale story about why her mother had to give her up, because the truth is we don't know. However, I am thankful that her birthmother chose to give her life in a culture where abortion is common. I am also thankful that she was most likely cared for by her birthmother for her first 3 weeks, and then left with a note in what was probably the safest place they could find.
We made a few more stops to the finding spots of the other children in our group, had lunch, and then started the long drive back to Guangzhou. That night at the hotel, Ayla began coming out of her shell. She let me put her down and she played and ran around the room. We heard some great laughs as we chased her around!! Later that night though, we also saw a more of the other end of the spectrum. She had a screaming, crying, back arching fit, and was inconsolable for 20-30 minutes before she wore herself out and went to sleep. Bedtime and naptime have been a struggle ever since (hence the lack of blogposts). On one hand, it is good that she feels comfortable enough to finally grieve. On the other hand, it is exhausting, and has been the hardest part of the journey. We are praying this phase gets better and better...preferably quickly! Still, we wouldn't trade this journey for anything!
It's Tuesday night now, and Ayla's suitcase is packed to come home. Honestly, we have really enjoyed being here! The time has gone by really fast. While we are excited to get home, we are not super excited about the long plane rides coming up. We just purchased a lap ticket for Ayla, rather than getting her a seat. That was probably best since she
We cannot wait to get our sweet girl home! We would LOVE to see any of you at the airport Thursday who would like to come. I will give the details in a separate post, so stay tuned!
Just tried to upload pics twice and it won't work. :( Lots of pictures on facebook though! Heading to bed for the last time in Guangzhou...
Thursday, March 8, 2012
little things...
Sorry for the lack of blog posts. I just laid our sweet girl in her crib, and she is sound asleep. Until now, I haven't had a free hand to type. I'm gonna try to do this one quick because we are meeting at 6:30am to make the 4 hour drive to Maoming to visit her orphanage. So right off the bat, we'd like to ask for your prayers. All 9 families in our group will be going to whichever orphanage their child is from.
Tomorrow will not be an easy day, but it will be an important one. Of course, we are all wondering how our babies will react to seeing their orphanage and nannies again. Some of you are probably wondering why in the world we would even go there. There are several reasons. First, it is important for us to see where Ayla came from. We will be taken to her finding spot, where she was abandoned when she was 3 weeks old. We will also get to ask her nanny questions and get a lot more insight into the first 22 months of her life. One day, Ayla will ask questions about her adoption, and it is very important to us to be able to give her as much information as we can.
Second, I have a very soft spot in my heart for her nanny. We have heard she was very attached to one in particular. I want to hug her neck and thank her for loving our daughter until we could come get her. The love and care she gave her will have a huge positive impact on how she attaches and bonds with us. You can pray specifically for the moment we see her nanny. For obvious reasons, there are concerns about how Ayla will respond.
Which brings me to the last reason we're going...closure for Ayla. She had no clue why she left the orphanage on Monday morning. Even though visiting will be emotionally exhausting, we are praying that she will gain a sense of security with us when she leaves one last time...in our arms!
Ok, on to a few updates. Ayla is continuing to adjust. She has been VERY clingy the past 2 days (hence no blogs). My arms are sore, but so worth it!! She can be sitting in my lap and will still reach for me to hold her. She prefers that I be standing up too. We are working on her being able to sit and play with me beside her, which she'll do a little...but not for very long. Today was the first time she really cried hard, and she did it about 3 times. We know she is grieving, and we knew it would happen eventually, but it is heartbreaking and exhausting to watch. She finally cried herself to sleep in my arms this afternoon.
She is obsessed with the hotel hand towel. It still goes everywhere with us! She was used to sleeping with a washcloth at the orphanage, so it must be the texture that she likes and makes her feel secure. No interest in the adorable lovies whatsoever! We will have tosteal purchase one from the hotel for the long trip home.
Today we learned that she likes to feed herself with a spoon! She does pretty well too! She even gets the pieces that fall in her bib and puts them back in her bowl. She is eating more and more. She LOVES french fries! Really, she just likes to eat! I have been working with her on the baby sign for "more". When she runs out of something, I will sign it to her and say, "more, more." Well, she hasn't gotten the sign down, but she now says, "mo, mo," in the cutest little raspy voice, for ANYTHING she wants!
She is giving us little glimpses of the personality that is hiding somewhere under all the shock from the past few days. We are getting smiles a little more, and have even heard a few good laughs. The first was Wednesday. We were sitting in a chair and she was playing with a couple stacking cups. She was touching them to my face. Then she started doing it harder...and harder. Then she got me pretty good, and I had to tell her no, pretty firmly. I thought it might hurt her feelings, but apparently it was hillarious! We are pretty sure we've got a fiesty little girl, and she's gonna give us a run for our money.
Speaking of stacking cups...those are her favorite! She will play with them for hours! She usually has one in each hand. We may be on and off the bus and walking all over the place, and she will not drop them (or whatever is in her hands). When she plays with anything, she will not move to another part of the room without taking EVERYTHING with her. We call her the "toy hoarder". It is so funny to watch her. If her hands are full, she'll prop stuff under her chin so she can take it with her. Sharing is not going to be a fun lesson for her to learn!
My favorite new thing she did just happened tonight on our way to dinner. It was just the 3 of us walking quite a ways, so I had her in the carrier. She has been getting lots of kisses, but hasn't given any. While we were walking, I looked down at her and kissed her and said, "Give mommy kiss." I've done that a lot, but this time, I thought I heard her smack her lips like she was trying to make a kiss sound. I looked at her and smiled and tried to get her to do it again. Not a chance. Then, as soon as I looked away she did it again. I looked back at her and she started laughing. Then she kept making the little kiss noise. Oh, I could just eat her up!
Overall, things are going great! Daddy still hasn't gotten to hold her, but she will let him feed her and kiss her. Hopefully it won't be much longer. There are a few other dads in our group waiting to hold their daughters too. This is completely normal, but I know Steven is so ready! And mommy's arms could use a break every now and then (still not complaining though).
Alright, time for some ibuprofren and then off to bed! Here's a few pics...
Tomorrow will not be an easy day, but it will be an important one. Of course, we are all wondering how our babies will react to seeing their orphanage and nannies again. Some of you are probably wondering why in the world we would even go there. There are several reasons. First, it is important for us to see where Ayla came from. We will be taken to her finding spot, where she was abandoned when she was 3 weeks old. We will also get to ask her nanny questions and get a lot more insight into the first 22 months of her life. One day, Ayla will ask questions about her adoption, and it is very important to us to be able to give her as much information as we can.
Second, I have a very soft spot in my heart for her nanny. We have heard she was very attached to one in particular. I want to hug her neck and thank her for loving our daughter until we could come get her. The love and care she gave her will have a huge positive impact on how she attaches and bonds with us. You can pray specifically for the moment we see her nanny. For obvious reasons, there are concerns about how Ayla will respond.
Which brings me to the last reason we're going...closure for Ayla. She had no clue why she left the orphanage on Monday morning. Even though visiting will be emotionally exhausting, we are praying that she will gain a sense of security with us when she leaves one last time...in our arms!
Ok, on to a few updates. Ayla is continuing to adjust. She has been VERY clingy the past 2 days (hence no blogs). My arms are sore, but so worth it!! She can be sitting in my lap and will still reach for me to hold her. She prefers that I be standing up too. We are working on her being able to sit and play with me beside her, which she'll do a little...but not for very long. Today was the first time she really cried hard, and she did it about 3 times. We know she is grieving, and we knew it would happen eventually, but it is heartbreaking and exhausting to watch. She finally cried herself to sleep in my arms this afternoon.
She is obsessed with the hotel hand towel. It still goes everywhere with us! She was used to sleeping with a washcloth at the orphanage, so it must be the texture that she likes and makes her feel secure. No interest in the adorable lovies whatsoever! We will have to
Today we learned that she likes to feed herself with a spoon! She does pretty well too! She even gets the pieces that fall in her bib and puts them back in her bowl. She is eating more and more. She LOVES french fries! Really, she just likes to eat! I have been working with her on the baby sign for "more". When she runs out of something, I will sign it to her and say, "more, more." Well, she hasn't gotten the sign down, but she now says, "mo, mo," in the cutest little raspy voice, for ANYTHING she wants!
She is giving us little glimpses of the personality that is hiding somewhere under all the shock from the past few days. We are getting smiles a little more, and have even heard a few good laughs. The first was Wednesday. We were sitting in a chair and she was playing with a couple stacking cups. She was touching them to my face. Then she started doing it harder...and harder. Then she got me pretty good, and I had to tell her no, pretty firmly. I thought it might hurt her feelings, but apparently it was hillarious! We are pretty sure we've got a fiesty little girl, and she's gonna give us a run for our money.
Speaking of stacking cups...those are her favorite! She will play with them for hours! She usually has one in each hand. We may be on and off the bus and walking all over the place, and she will not drop them (or whatever is in her hands). When she plays with anything, she will not move to another part of the room without taking EVERYTHING with her. We call her the "toy hoarder". It is so funny to watch her. If her hands are full, she'll prop stuff under her chin so she can take it with her. Sharing is not going to be a fun lesson for her to learn!
My favorite new thing she did just happened tonight on our way to dinner. It was just the 3 of us walking quite a ways, so I had her in the carrier. She has been getting lots of kisses, but hasn't given any. While we were walking, I looked down at her and kissed her and said, "Give mommy kiss." I've done that a lot, but this time, I thought I heard her smack her lips like she was trying to make a kiss sound. I looked at her and smiled and tried to get her to do it again. Not a chance. Then, as soon as I looked away she did it again. I looked back at her and she started laughing. Then she kept making the little kiss noise. Oh, I could just eat her up!
Overall, things are going great! Daddy still hasn't gotten to hold her, but she will let him feed her and kiss her. Hopefully it won't be much longer. There are a few other dads in our group waiting to hold their daughters too. This is completely normal, but I know Steven is so ready! And mommy's arms could use a break every now and then (still not complaining though).
Alright, time for some ibuprofren and then off to bed! Here's a few pics...
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